So when I was overthinking things and letting my imagination run away with itself (as I have a habit of doing far too often) I got to thinking some pretty negative thoughts.
"what if I'm not a good mother?"
"what if I can't do it?"
"what if I hurt the baby?"
and other what ifs preyed on my thoughts. I wanted to dismiss them but instead I not only allowed them to fester, but I began to meditate on them. I know- I'm disgusted with myself too to be honest.
but the strangest thing happened tonight-The 18th of December. 4 days before I see my baby again. I heard the voice of God tell me something. Now, normally when God wants to tell me something He has to grab my face and point my nose towards what He wants to tell me. but this time He spoke in such a still small voice that it hadn't given me such a feeling of joy and peace I wouldn't have even known where the thought came from. But it was so true and just what I needed to hear to repel the negative thoughts.
"Think about what has happened. Think about my timing. Think about what I've given you. Do you honestly think I would give you this amazing gift at this time, in this place if I didn't know you were ready? Do you think you know better than me? Who do you think you are?"
Wow right?
So should these thoughts Permeate my cerebellum again, I could use your prayers please? Thanks♥
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Thursday, September 29, 2011
How time flies...
Well, things are definitely working faster than I thought they would be. Hubby and I had our first doctor's appt since I got my little plus sign and (after being up all night and worrying that I had gotten a false positive, even tho there have been other symptoms) She confirmed that I was indeed pregnant and that my due date was April 27th 2012 and that I was 9 weeks and 4 days in.
WHAT?!!?! NINE WEEKS AND FOUR DAYS?!?!
Okay, so I got over the initial shock and realized that I am now not only very pregnant, but I am now only 2 and 3 days (well 2 weeks even now) away from being into my second trimester!
It means I'm not waiting for Christmas to tell people! it means I get to tell people a heck of a lot sooner and that makes me more than a little thrilled because I've been wanting to tell like... everyone... all the time.
Halloween is going to be entertaining and the bike-a-thon is going to take some serious work, but at least I know where I stand.
I'm 10 weeks along. I'm uber excited and just waiting for the doctor to contact me regarding an ultrasound.
I want to see him/her/them!!!
I freaked Pat out a little bit. He was relieved when we found out because he knows what this means to me, but at the same time, I told him that just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I'm only having one. I could still be having twins or triplets and no one knows... at least until I get an ultrasound done. His face went white. It was more than funny to me which I think makes me a little sadistic, but he's been amazing.
He's really been taking care of me.
I am so blessed to have him in my life, He's going to be a great daddy.
Keep the prayers coming!
~Ruthi
WHAT?!!?! NINE WEEKS AND FOUR DAYS?!?!
Okay, so I got over the initial shock and realized that I am now not only very pregnant, but I am now only 2 and 3 days (well 2 weeks even now) away from being into my second trimester!
It means I'm not waiting for Christmas to tell people! it means I get to tell people a heck of a lot sooner and that makes me more than a little thrilled because I've been wanting to tell like... everyone... all the time.
Halloween is going to be entertaining and the bike-a-thon is going to take some serious work, but at least I know where I stand.
I'm 10 weeks along. I'm uber excited and just waiting for the doctor to contact me regarding an ultrasound.
I want to see him/her/them!!!
I freaked Pat out a little bit. He was relieved when we found out because he knows what this means to me, but at the same time, I told him that just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I'm only having one. I could still be having twins or triplets and no one knows... at least until I get an ultrasound done. His face went white. It was more than funny to me which I think makes me a little sadistic, but he's been amazing.
He's really been taking care of me.
I am so blessed to have him in my life, He's going to be a great daddy.
Keep the prayers coming!
~Ruthi
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Fearless
Written the middle of September
So this week we got to go back to Ontario and share our good news with family. Things are good, lots of people were excited, some not so much, but everyone was supportive. (we haven't told everyone, just some people)
My sister freaked me out tho. Turns out someone in our family told her that in our family, boys produce a more difficult pregnancy and that I should pray to have a girl, when I've been praying so hard to have a little boy. of course My brain started telling me, "don't worry about it, The difficulty has nothing to do with the gender of the baby" and "All pregnancies are different" and "God is going to take care of us" but it couldn't get the negativity out of my mind, you know?
So we're driving down the road, and I have my little Ipod on listening to whatever pops on randomly, and This old DC talk song comes on. and as I listen to it, God just starts showing me I really have nothing to fear... quite literally, the song is called Fearless. (apt huh?)
Here are some of the lyrics that really touched my heart:
Patiently You stripped away
The walls of pride that I had raised
You revealed the child inside of me
We will run and not grow old
Soar on wings as I've been told
Together we will fly the heavenlies
Cause out of the noise I could hear You breathing
You came along knowing just what I needed
Turned me around and ya got me believin'
I would die for You
Now I'm fearless with nothing left to hide
All the doubts of yesterday, love has driven them away
And now I'm fearless when I am by Your side
It's forever me and You in this covenant of truth
Ya know I'm fearless...oh yeah
(when it reached this point I think I was in tears)
Some of us leave the vine
Some of us fall in line
All of us have a friend in Jesus
Some of us live in fear
Some of us persevere
Knowing that You are near me, I am fearless
so God totally talked to me, telling me I'm His child and my child is also His child and He's the one in control and I can be fearless.
So this week we got to go back to Ontario and share our good news with family. Things are good, lots of people were excited, some not so much, but everyone was supportive. (we haven't told everyone, just some people)
My sister freaked me out tho. Turns out someone in our family told her that in our family, boys produce a more difficult pregnancy and that I should pray to have a girl, when I've been praying so hard to have a little boy. of course My brain started telling me, "don't worry about it, The difficulty has nothing to do with the gender of the baby" and "All pregnancies are different" and "God is going to take care of us" but it couldn't get the negativity out of my mind, you know?
So we're driving down the road, and I have my little Ipod on listening to whatever pops on randomly, and This old DC talk song comes on. and as I listen to it, God just starts showing me I really have nothing to fear... quite literally, the song is called Fearless. (apt huh?)
Here are some of the lyrics that really touched my heart:
Patiently You stripped away
The walls of pride that I had raised
You revealed the child inside of me
We will run and not grow old
Soar on wings as I've been told
Together we will fly the heavenlies
Cause out of the noise I could hear You breathing
You came along knowing just what I needed
Turned me around and ya got me believin'
I would die for You
Now I'm fearless with nothing left to hide
All the doubts of yesterday, love has driven them away
And now I'm fearless when I am by Your side
It's forever me and You in this covenant of truth
Ya know I'm fearless...oh yeah
(when it reached this point I think I was in tears)
Some of us leave the vine
Some of us fall in line
All of us have a friend in Jesus
Some of us live in fear
Some of us persevere
Knowing that You are near me, I am fearless
so God totally talked to me, telling me I'm His child and my child is also His child and He's the one in control and I can be fearless.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Positively positive!
Written September 7/2011
Wow, well, things have definitely changed for the better.
first of all I'd like to announce to friends who are permitted to read my blog that I am currently and tentatively pregnant! (even tho I can't spell it) I have never been so happy to see a plus sign in my entire life.
this wasn't taken all willy nilly however. There were some other changes first: Sore breasts, missed period, nausea, weight gain, so after a long discussion about Schrodinger's cat (which I have since had to explain several times) It's easier (and funnier) to watch the episode of Big Bang Theory. I finally decided to put everything in God's hands and have a pregnancy test. and it was positive!!
Things that have changed prior to getting pregnant: first of all I have been told that antibiotics make you more susceptible to getting pregnant and I had been diagnosed with an infection for which I needed antibiotics. ifsofacto (Not sure if this is the meaning I'm supposed to use this for) I was more susceptible...
from an emotional standpoint, ever since hubby and I started doing these tests and appointments, we've been more relaxed and hence have been having more fun in the bedroom which no doubt helped us get pregnant as well.
from a spiritual perspective: for those of you know me, you know I am a total control freak. I've actually had hubby sit on the couch and had him watch as I cleaned so he wouldn't move anything and put anything in the wrong spot. And we've been talking about it in our small group about God taking control and how our lives are little boxes and mine has attack dogs and a laser grid and huge walls with barbed wire and almost.. like there is no way anyone is taking control away from me!that being said, God's been asking me to give him Control. I know! I didn't think it was possible either. so after a lot of soul searching and praying I decided to give the whole baby situation to Him. He promised me that there would be a child in my life and if it has to be adoption, I was willing to accept that.
the truth is I honestly have no idea what was happening and why I wasn't pregnant and then I was. all I know is that God is in control, and he's in charge and he knows what he's doing.
keep praying for me?
thanks!
Rs
Wow, well, things have definitely changed for the better.
first of all I'd like to announce to friends who are permitted to read my blog that I am currently and tentatively pregnant! (even tho I can't spell it) I have never been so happy to see a plus sign in my entire life.
this wasn't taken all willy nilly however. There were some other changes first: Sore breasts, missed period, nausea, weight gain, so after a long discussion about Schrodinger's cat (which I have since had to explain several times) It's easier (and funnier) to watch the episode of Big Bang Theory. I finally decided to put everything in God's hands and have a pregnancy test. and it was positive!!
Things that have changed prior to getting pregnant: first of all I have been told that antibiotics make you more susceptible to getting pregnant and I had been diagnosed with an infection for which I needed antibiotics. ifsofacto (Not sure if this is the meaning I'm supposed to use this for) I was more susceptible...
from an emotional standpoint, ever since hubby and I started doing these tests and appointments, we've been more relaxed and hence have been having more fun in the bedroom which no doubt helped us get pregnant as well.
from a spiritual perspective: for those of you know me, you know I am a total control freak. I've actually had hubby sit on the couch and had him watch as I cleaned so he wouldn't move anything and put anything in the wrong spot. And we've been talking about it in our small group about God taking control and how our lives are little boxes and mine has attack dogs and a laser grid and huge walls with barbed wire and almost.. like there is no way anyone is taking control away from me!that being said, God's been asking me to give him Control. I know! I didn't think it was possible either. so after a lot of soul searching and praying I decided to give the whole baby situation to Him. He promised me that there would be a child in my life and if it has to be adoption, I was willing to accept that.
the truth is I honestly have no idea what was happening and why I wasn't pregnant and then I was. all I know is that God is in control, and he's in charge and he knows what he's doing.
keep praying for me?
thanks!
Rs
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Is there a {Good} Doctor in the house?
So On Thursday my period started and on Friday I had my appt with my OBGYN. This is the second time I've tried this. The first time I had a women's retreat at my church and I was not about to sacrifice that for anything. That being said, I rescheduled for The 29th and everything was good. my appointment was for 11:15 am.
First of all let me tell you how uncomfortable and upset I was at being in a room filled with pregnant women while I couldn't get pregnant. I hated every second of being in that room. I was 15 minutes early for my appointment and so I had to sit in the waiting room with all these women.
Anyway, that being said I moved on and waited. and waited.... and waited...
Laser tag was coming up and I hadn't eaten lunch so I was hungry and emotional and irritable. so a girl comes in behind me and sits down. She's clearly pregnant and she has her son and daughter with her and her sister to watch the kids while she's in. (I'm guessing) it's 11:45 now and she's just come in. so her name gets called and she goes in. I'm like what?! why did she go in when she came in after me? then it dawned on me.
I'm less of a person to this doctor because I'm not pregnant. I have never felt like more of a second class person than I did at that moment. so at 12:15 I told the receptionist I had to go. and I rescheduled for October and I left.
Specialist or not, I deserved better than that. It makes me realized why women in Kenya who can't have children are more opt to kill themselves than to live with the pain of not being able to have children. It would be better than having to deal with that.
Next time we're going in prepared.
anyway, that's my story. still not pregnant. I Have a snob for a gynecologist and now I have to go and see her.
The only bright point in my life is that I'm actually working hard and still trying to lose weight. *shrugs* wish me luck!
~Ruth
First of all let me tell you how uncomfortable and upset I was at being in a room filled with pregnant women while I couldn't get pregnant. I hated every second of being in that room. I was 15 minutes early for my appointment and so I had to sit in the waiting room with all these women.
Anyway, that being said I moved on and waited. and waited.... and waited...
Laser tag was coming up and I hadn't eaten lunch so I was hungry and emotional and irritable. so a girl comes in behind me and sits down. She's clearly pregnant and she has her son and daughter with her and her sister to watch the kids while she's in. (I'm guessing) it's 11:45 now and she's just come in. so her name gets called and she goes in. I'm like what?! why did she go in when she came in after me? then it dawned on me.
I'm less of a person to this doctor because I'm not pregnant. I have never felt like more of a second class person than I did at that moment. so at 12:15 I told the receptionist I had to go. and I rescheduled for October and I left.
Specialist or not, I deserved better than that. It makes me realized why women in Kenya who can't have children are more opt to kill themselves than to live with the pain of not being able to have children. It would be better than having to deal with that.
Next time we're going in prepared.
anyway, that's my story. still not pregnant. I Have a snob for a gynecologist and now I have to go and see her.
The only bright point in my life is that I'm actually working hard and still trying to lose weight. *shrugs* wish me luck!
~Ruth
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
"We don't know..."
omigosh, so I haven't been on for a month, forgive me, my computer blew up and decided to take me and my sanity with it.
so over the past month I've started taking tests. one of which was an ultrasound to tell me if maybe there was something wrong with me.
whatever they show you on Friends is a lie. The ultrasound was so much more uncomfortable than I thought it would be. Rachel and Phoebe make it look so much better. *rolls eyes* yet another thing TV has lied to me about.
First of all, an hour and a half before the ultrasound you need to empty your bladder and down 32 oz of water. it's harder than it sounds. after 24oz I wanted to puke. anyway, then you're not allowed to pee until after the ultra sound so ugh, sitting on a full bladder for most of the day? not fun! I'm telling you I needed to pee almost 10 minutes into my hour and a half! :k
anyway, so we get there and I'm INCREDIBLY uncomforable and about to burst and then they have me lie on the bed with nothing on from the waist down (ugh). Patrick sits up by my head holding my hand and readind comics as only he can do. and after I am finally allowed to empty my bladder again (which, let me tell you, so far has been the best feeling of relief I have ever experienced). We sat and talked for a little longer before the doctor came in and announced "We don't know why you're not pregnant" and left the room.
:o
what the {explitive}??
I couldn't believe that. I mean I just wanted to stand up and say, uh hello? then why aren't I pregnant?!?! *sigh* tell me SOMETHING. so I can fix it!
we still have some things to do before we go back to the doctor and my doctor has made me an appt with a OBGYN. so I'm not giving up hope yet, but it's so frustrating to hear even the doctor doesn't know.
I keep thinking of Anna and Rachel and how God closed their wombs. maybe that's why I'm not pregnant? is it a supernatural infertility?
pray for me please?
Rs.
so over the past month I've started taking tests. one of which was an ultrasound to tell me if maybe there was something wrong with me.
whatever they show you on Friends is a lie. The ultrasound was so much more uncomfortable than I thought it would be. Rachel and Phoebe make it look so much better. *rolls eyes* yet another thing TV has lied to me about.
First of all, an hour and a half before the ultrasound you need to empty your bladder and down 32 oz of water. it's harder than it sounds. after 24oz I wanted to puke. anyway, then you're not allowed to pee until after the ultra sound so ugh, sitting on a full bladder for most of the day? not fun! I'm telling you I needed to pee almost 10 minutes into my hour and a half! :k
anyway, so we get there and I'm INCREDIBLY uncomforable and about to burst and then they have me lie on the bed with nothing on from the waist down (ugh). Patrick sits up by my head holding my hand and readind comics as only he can do. and after I am finally allowed to empty my bladder again (which, let me tell you, so far has been the best feeling of relief I have ever experienced). We sat and talked for a little longer before the doctor came in and announced "We don't know why you're not pregnant" and left the room.
:o
what the {explitive}??
I couldn't believe that. I mean I just wanted to stand up and say, uh hello? then why aren't I pregnant?!?! *sigh* tell me SOMETHING. so I can fix it!
we still have some things to do before we go back to the doctor and my doctor has made me an appt with a OBGYN. so I'm not giving up hope yet, but it's so frustrating to hear even the doctor doesn't know.
I keep thinking of Anna and Rachel and how God closed their wombs. maybe that's why I'm not pregnant? is it a supernatural infertility?
pray for me please?
Rs.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Oh Me of little Faith...
So here's my thoughts lately, Hubby and I went to a Doctor on Tuesday (today is Thursday) and made appointments for blood work and for me to have my abdomen ultrasounded (that's not a word, but you know what I mean) so here's my issue: Hubby and I have said for the past year that we are trusting God to give us a baby when we're ready. but with this visit to the doctor, I almost feel like I'm jumping ship.
I think of Peter in the boat when Jesus said "peace, be still" and they were all like "who is this man that even the wind and the waves obey him?" it makes me think of a song that I heard, that I'll likely put on so I can hear it again. but I wonder when Jesus was saying, "oh ye of little faith" if I wouldn't be in the same boat (no pun intended) as the rest of them.
this is almost feeling like a lack of faith in God and a placement of my faith in the doctors around me and that feels wrong. but at the same time, I'm thinking, Peter again, when the wind was all crazy that he focused on God and stepped out of the boat right? can I not say that this is me stepping out in faith onto the water and getting my body set up for whatever gift God is going to give me?
*sigh*
I talked about it at Women's Bible Study today and they all kind of looked at each other and then at the floor like they had no idea what to make of the question.
should I NOT go to my dr's appointments? (sighs) this all seems so much simpler on Sims 2.
Asking for Prayer again
~Ruthi
I think of Peter in the boat when Jesus said "peace, be still" and they were all like "who is this man that even the wind and the waves obey him?" it makes me think of a song that I heard, that I'll likely put on so I can hear it again. but I wonder when Jesus was saying, "oh ye of little faith" if I wouldn't be in the same boat (no pun intended) as the rest of them.
this is almost feeling like a lack of faith in God and a placement of my faith in the doctors around me and that feels wrong. but at the same time, I'm thinking, Peter again, when the wind was all crazy that he focused on God and stepped out of the boat right? can I not say that this is me stepping out in faith onto the water and getting my body set up for whatever gift God is going to give me?
*sigh*
I talked about it at Women's Bible Study today and they all kind of looked at each other and then at the floor like they had no idea what to make of the question.
should I NOT go to my dr's appointments? (sighs) this all seems so much simpler on Sims 2.
Asking for Prayer again
~Ruthi
Friday, March 11, 2011
Rantings of a girl off Caffeine
So I don't even know what to write. my life has been so stressful and my body seems to have said, "you think you have a 22 day cycle? let's see what happens if we change it to 28 days??" so whenever I think I'm late by 6 days, It's just my body being stupid. (which seems to happen more than you would think) (watch, now that I've said that it will go to 22 days or to 30 who knows?)
So it's Lent. and I found I was drinking a lot of coke, actually craving the acidy sweet bubbly taste of Coca cola. so I decided, (as last years was so big, with me being offline for 6 weeks) that I would go off all caffeine for 6 weeks. This means, no Cola, no chocolate, no Coffee, no tea. I think it might kill me.
Granted, I've done the no caffeine thing before, back when I weighed almost 300 lbs, and I managed to lose 50 lbs and do it for 6 months (starting at the end of October and ending mid to late April) which means I made it through Halloween chocolate, Christmas chocolate, valentine's day chocolate and only broke with the Easter chocolate. I am a huge lover of robin's eggs and cream eggs. Which are out right now! *facepalm*
Anyway, the first day of Lent, Ash Wednesday (two days ago?! omigosh it feels so much later than that!!) anyway, I wake up, turn on the kettle to boil reach for the tea bags and go, nope no caffeine. then I just kinda... get lost. like my schedule has been disrupted and I don't know what to do with myself. *sigh*
So the people in the town I live in are super nice and gave me some herbal teas, or invited me to raid cupboards since they got it and no one wants it and I found a really yummy vanilla one that I am looking forward to having when we go into the city on Sunday. *contented sigh* and I'm drinking a lot of milk, which is good for when I do get pregnant.
Today my caffeine, or rather... caffeine withdrawal headache just about left me incapacitated, but I took some mild painkillers/muscle relaxants and it left me loopy which admittedly is much more fun *wink* but again left me incapable of doing pretty much anything short of cuddling on the couch watching bad TV. *sigh*
I should go, this has been a pretty long blog so far.
*sighs*
pray for me?
~Rs.
So it's Lent. and I found I was drinking a lot of coke, actually craving the acidy sweet bubbly taste of Coca cola. so I decided, (as last years was so big, with me being offline for 6 weeks) that I would go off all caffeine for 6 weeks. This means, no Cola, no chocolate, no Coffee, no tea. I think it might kill me.
Granted, I've done the no caffeine thing before, back when I weighed almost 300 lbs, and I managed to lose 50 lbs and do it for 6 months (starting at the end of October and ending mid to late April) which means I made it through Halloween chocolate, Christmas chocolate, valentine's day chocolate and only broke with the Easter chocolate. I am a huge lover of robin's eggs and cream eggs. Which are out right now! *facepalm*
Anyway, the first day of Lent, Ash Wednesday (two days ago?! omigosh it feels so much later than that!!) anyway, I wake up, turn on the kettle to boil reach for the tea bags and go, nope no caffeine. then I just kinda... get lost. like my schedule has been disrupted and I don't know what to do with myself. *sigh*
So the people in the town I live in are super nice and gave me some herbal teas, or invited me to raid cupboards since they got it and no one wants it and I found a really yummy vanilla one that I am looking forward to having when we go into the city on Sunday. *contented sigh* and I'm drinking a lot of milk, which is good for when I do get pregnant.
Today my caffeine, or rather... caffeine withdrawal headache just about left me incapacitated, but I took some mild painkillers/muscle relaxants and it left me loopy which admittedly is much more fun *wink* but again left me incapable of doing pretty much anything short of cuddling on the couch watching bad TV. *sigh*
I should go, this has been a pretty long blog so far.
*sighs*
pray for me?
~Rs.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
still not my turn...
So my friend is pregnant. Again. Her third this time.
My other friend just had her third, her first boy.
*takes a deep breath*
It's not fair! Why don't I ever get one?
I'm trying to be strong and whatever. I have to make an appointment with the doctor. I've tried giving options to hubby to see if we can get his sperm count up. No aspartame etc. Some he goes for, a lot he doesn't.
I don't want to be petty and jealous but when someone tells me they're pregnant and i want to be happy for them, all I can think is like Phoebe from friends, "I want to keep one."
I want to have one of my own a little boy or little girl to raise and love and take care of. When do I get one?
Do I get one? *unhappy sighs*
pray for me?
My other friend just had her third, her first boy.
*takes a deep breath*
It's not fair! Why don't I ever get one?
I'm trying to be strong and whatever. I have to make an appointment with the doctor. I've tried giving options to hubby to see if we can get his sperm count up. No aspartame etc. Some he goes for, a lot he doesn't.
I don't want to be petty and jealous but when someone tells me they're pregnant and i want to be happy for them, all I can think is like Phoebe from friends, "I want to keep one."
I want to have one of my own a little boy or little girl to raise and love and take care of. When do I get one?
Do I get one? *unhappy sighs*
pray for me?
Thursday, January 13, 2011
A new year, a new attitude.
Well a lot of things have changed since I last wrote. I've opened myself to possibilities and to God and to people and to pain and so much more and it's really given me a new outlook on life.
it's strange to try to put into words, but I'll try my best.
Christmas was dramatic and frustrating and character revealing which is what Christmas should be really.
There's been some serious spiritual attack going on, but my shield of Faith and the rest of my Ephesians 6 armour is holding strong and I know with God I will get through this and he will fulfill the promise he made me.
one of the main reasons I'm writing this is to ask for Prayer again.
I'm 5 days late as of today, which I have been before, heck I've been 14 days late back when I was still a virgin, but other things Have been happening too. Breasts are sore and ankles are swollen. and I'm starting to notice my veins. the veins in my hands have gotten extraordinarily dark. I don't know what that's about. Maybe it goes with the drooling. *shrugs*
I remember having some serious cravings too. lots of eggs. sunnyside up or soft poached with the runny yolk. *shrugs* for that one I've been eating a lot of eggs... we'll have to see.
so I'm going to wait on the Lord as he's asked me to and see what the next month holds. maybe my period will start and this will all be for naught. or I really will be pregnant.
*sigh*
Pray for me please?
Ruthi
Why can't it be this easy?
it's strange to try to put into words, but I'll try my best.
Christmas was dramatic and frustrating and character revealing which is what Christmas should be really.
There's been some serious spiritual attack going on, but my shield of Faith and the rest of my Ephesians 6 armour is holding strong and I know with God I will get through this and he will fulfill the promise he made me.
one of the main reasons I'm writing this is to ask for Prayer again.
I'm 5 days late as of today, which I have been before, heck I've been 14 days late back when I was still a virgin, but other things Have been happening too. Breasts are sore and ankles are swollen. and I'm starting to notice my veins. the veins in my hands have gotten extraordinarily dark. I don't know what that's about. Maybe it goes with the drooling. *shrugs*
I remember having some serious cravings too. lots of eggs. sunnyside up or soft poached with the runny yolk. *shrugs* for that one I've been eating a lot of eggs... we'll have to see.
so I'm going to wait on the Lord as he's asked me to and see what the next month holds. maybe my period will start and this will all be for naught. or I really will be pregnant.
*sigh*
Pray for me please?
Ruthi
Why can't it be this easy?
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