Written September 7/2011
Wow, well, things have definitely changed for the better.
first of all I'd like to announce to friends who are permitted to read my blog that I am currently and tentatively pregnant! (even tho I can't spell it) I have never been so happy to see a plus sign in my entire life.
this wasn't taken all willy nilly however. There were some other changes first: Sore breasts, missed period, nausea, weight gain, so after a long discussion about Schrodinger's cat (which I have since had to explain several times) It's easier (and funnier) to watch the episode of Big Bang Theory. I finally decided to put everything in God's hands and have a pregnancy test. and it was positive!!
Things that have changed prior to getting pregnant: first of all I have been told that antibiotics make you more susceptible to getting pregnant and I had been diagnosed with an infection for which I needed antibiotics. ifsofacto (Not sure if this is the meaning I'm supposed to use this for) I was more susceptible...
from an emotional standpoint, ever since hubby and I started doing these tests and appointments, we've been more relaxed and hence have been having more fun in the bedroom which no doubt helped us get pregnant as well.
from a spiritual perspective: for those of you know me, you know I am a total control freak. I've actually had hubby sit on the couch and had him watch as I cleaned so he wouldn't move anything and put anything in the wrong spot. And we've been talking about it in our small group about God taking control and how our lives are little boxes and mine has attack dogs and a laser grid and huge walls with barbed wire and almost.. like there is no way anyone is taking control away from me!that being said, God's been asking me to give him Control. I know! I didn't think it was possible either. so after a lot of soul searching and praying I decided to give the whole baby situation to Him. He promised me that there would be a child in my life and if it has to be adoption, I was willing to accept that.
the truth is I honestly have no idea what was happening and why I wasn't pregnant and then I was. all I know is that God is in control, and he's in charge and he knows what he's doing.
keep praying for me?
thanks!
Rs
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Is there a {Good} Doctor in the house?
So On Thursday my period started and on Friday I had my appt with my OBGYN. This is the second time I've tried this. The first time I had a women's retreat at my church and I was not about to sacrifice that for anything. That being said, I rescheduled for The 29th and everything was good. my appointment was for 11:15 am.
First of all let me tell you how uncomfortable and upset I was at being in a room filled with pregnant women while I couldn't get pregnant. I hated every second of being in that room. I was 15 minutes early for my appointment and so I had to sit in the waiting room with all these women.
Anyway, that being said I moved on and waited. and waited.... and waited...
Laser tag was coming up and I hadn't eaten lunch so I was hungry and emotional and irritable. so a girl comes in behind me and sits down. She's clearly pregnant and she has her son and daughter with her and her sister to watch the kids while she's in. (I'm guessing) it's 11:45 now and she's just come in. so her name gets called and she goes in. I'm like what?! why did she go in when she came in after me? then it dawned on me.
I'm less of a person to this doctor because I'm not pregnant. I have never felt like more of a second class person than I did at that moment. so at 12:15 I told the receptionist I had to go. and I rescheduled for October and I left.
Specialist or not, I deserved better than that. It makes me realized why women in Kenya who can't have children are more opt to kill themselves than to live with the pain of not being able to have children. It would be better than having to deal with that.
Next time we're going in prepared.
anyway, that's my story. still not pregnant. I Have a snob for a gynecologist and now I have to go and see her.
The only bright point in my life is that I'm actually working hard and still trying to lose weight. *shrugs* wish me luck!
~Ruth
First of all let me tell you how uncomfortable and upset I was at being in a room filled with pregnant women while I couldn't get pregnant. I hated every second of being in that room. I was 15 minutes early for my appointment and so I had to sit in the waiting room with all these women.
Anyway, that being said I moved on and waited. and waited.... and waited...
Laser tag was coming up and I hadn't eaten lunch so I was hungry and emotional and irritable. so a girl comes in behind me and sits down. She's clearly pregnant and she has her son and daughter with her and her sister to watch the kids while she's in. (I'm guessing) it's 11:45 now and she's just come in. so her name gets called and she goes in. I'm like what?! why did she go in when she came in after me? then it dawned on me.
I'm less of a person to this doctor because I'm not pregnant. I have never felt like more of a second class person than I did at that moment. so at 12:15 I told the receptionist I had to go. and I rescheduled for October and I left.
Specialist or not, I deserved better than that. It makes me realized why women in Kenya who can't have children are more opt to kill themselves than to live with the pain of not being able to have children. It would be better than having to deal with that.
Next time we're going in prepared.
anyway, that's my story. still not pregnant. I Have a snob for a gynecologist and now I have to go and see her.
The only bright point in my life is that I'm actually working hard and still trying to lose weight. *shrugs* wish me luck!
~Ruth
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