Oh Me of little Faith...

So here's my thoughts lately, Hubby and I went to a Doctor on Tuesday (today is Thursday) and made appointments for blood work and for me to have my abdomen ultrasounded (that's not a word, but you know what I mean) so here's my issue: Hubby and I have said for the past year that we are trusting God to give us a baby when we're ready. but with this visit to the doctor, I almost feel like I'm jumping ship.

I think of Peter in the boat when Jesus said "peace, be still" and they were all like "who is this man that even the wind and the waves obey him?" it makes me think of a song that I heard, that I'll likely put on so I can hear it again. but I wonder when Jesus was saying, "oh ye of little faith" if I wouldn't be in the same boat (no pun intended) as the rest of them.

this is almost feeling like a lack of faith in God and a placement of my faith in the doctors around me and that feels wrong. but at the same time, I'm thinking, Peter again, when the wind was all crazy that he focused on God and stepped out of the boat right? can I not say that this is me stepping out in faith onto the water and getting my body set up for whatever gift God is going to give me?

*sigh*
I talked about it at Women's Bible Study today and they all kind of looked at each other and then at the floor like they had no idea what to make of the question.

should I NOT go to my dr's appointments? (sighs) this all seems so much simpler on Sims 2.
Asking for Prayer again
~Ruthi

Rantings of a girl off Caffeine

So I don't even know what to write. my life has been so stressful and my body seems to have said, "you think you have a 22 day cycle? let's see what happens if we change it to 28 days??" so whenever I think I'm late by 6 days, It's just my body being stupid. (which seems to happen more than you would think) (watch, now that I've said that it will go to 22 days or to 30 who knows?)

So it's Lent. and I found I was drinking a lot of coke, actually craving the acidy sweet bubbly taste of Coca cola. so I decided, (as last years was so big, with me being offline for 6 weeks) that I would go off all caffeine for 6 weeks. This means, no Cola, no chocolate, no Coffee, no tea. I think it might kill me.

Granted, I've done the no caffeine thing before, back when I weighed almost 300 lbs, and I managed to lose 50 lbs and do it for 6 months (starting at the end of October and ending mid to late April) which means I made it through Halloween chocolate, Christmas chocolate, valentine's day chocolate and only broke with the Easter chocolate. I am a huge lover of robin's eggs and cream eggs. Which are out right now! *facepalm*

Anyway, the first day of Lent, Ash Wednesday (two days ago?! omigosh it feels so much later than that!!) anyway, I wake up, turn on the kettle to boil reach for the tea bags and go, nope no caffeine. then I just kinda... get lost. like my schedule has been disrupted and I don't know what to do with myself. *sigh*

So the people in the town I live in are super nice and gave me some herbal teas, or invited me to raid cupboards since they got it and no one wants it and I found a really yummy vanilla one that I am looking forward to having when we go into the city on Sunday. *contented sigh* and I'm drinking a lot of milk, which is good for when I do get pregnant.

Today my caffeine, or rather... caffeine withdrawal headache just about left me incapacitated, but I took some mild painkillers/muscle relaxants and it left me loopy which admittedly is much more fun *wink* but again left me incapable of doing pretty much anything short of cuddling on the couch watching bad TV. *sigh*

I should go, this has been a pretty long blog so far.
*sighs*
pray for me?
~Rs.