well, my period started literally the moment after I took the test *unhappy sigh*
this morning I had to go with Hubby to work, because they were taking their annual christmas photo (and yes, I am aware it's not even October yet). but for whatever reason I'm here. There's chapel and the boys start singing "remember your people, remember your children, remember your Promise oh God..." followed promptly by "your grace is enough." ouch. that really hit home. I mean, I've been whining all week about my lack of baby and then I come to chapel and sing 'your grace is enough?' although to be fair, I can't say "your grace is enough, but..." that woul dbe as bad as saying "your grace is not enough for me." so that was hard to hear, and even harder to sing.
then came "though your sorrow may last for the night, your joy comes with the morning." and there I was. back in the other kind of Saturday mode of misery and hopelessness, that I hate.
When Jesus died, some people got it, some didn't. We know the whole story. there should be no reason for us NOT to get it, and yet... here I am: miserable and hopeless. I want to be living in happy anticipation and hope and there's nothing.... like what's the matter with me? Why am I so easily swayed by life from the path where I should be walking?
think of me, as I try to muddle through this.
pray for me.
Ruth
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