Did someone get the number of that truck?

okay, well, last month I was not surprised to get my period. I mean things are pretty crazy and they seem to multiply times 10 for October, so I had little to no time to be intimate with hubby; so I got my period, right on time.

Hubby and I are going away on vacation soon. we'll be leaving for Edmonton in a week (after the grey cup semi final between Calgary and Saskatchewan and before the grey cup :))

I am expecting a lot of spelling and grammatical errors for this blog because, as the blog title dictates, I literally feel like I have been hit by a truck. (omigosh, I just tried to write literally like "litter ally" This is what anti-histamines do to me).

anyway, between the period today and the cold taking its toll: I literally (tried to do it again!) did NOTHING today. well, blogging and facebook not withstanding.

I woke up late after going to bed early and then I sat on my duff all day. I watched a LOT of CSI on TV. Then hubby came home, early. usually I watch CSI:NY and Bluebloods on Friday night. It's my thing. that I do. On Friday Nights. It used to be Ghost Whisperer and Numb3rs but one got canceled and the other got moved. I think.

so yeah, when I got my period this morning I was both sad and relieved. I mean it means that I likely won't have my period when we go to Edmonton on Monday (today being Friday) so yay, but it also means I'm not pregnant. again.

I'm wondering if any of you reading this have been trying and succeeded, and if so: how did you get pregnant? I mean I've done all the tricks from all the books I've read... although one has just become a comical book to own. (I mean it literally says that you can fight off the effects of smoking and drinking while pregnant with good diet and exercise! clearly it's not one to be taken seriously)

well, that's it for me. I'm tired and another word for stoned on cold meds.
good night friends
Ruth

wake me up when September ends

well, my period started literally the moment after I took the test *unhappy sigh*

this morning I had to go with Hubby to work, because they were taking their annual christmas photo (and yes, I am aware it's not even October yet). but for whatever reason I'm here. There's chapel and the boys start singing "remember your people, remember your children, remember your Promise oh God..." followed promptly by "your grace is enough." ouch. that really hit home. I mean, I've been whining all week about my lack of baby and then I come to chapel and sing 'your grace is enough?' although to be fair, I can't say "your grace is enough, but..." that woul dbe as bad as saying "your grace is not enough for me." so that was hard to hear, and even harder to sing.

then came "though your sorrow may last for the night, your joy comes with the morning." and there I was. back in the other kind of Saturday mode of misery and hopelessness, that I hate.

When Jesus died, some people got it, some didn't. We know the whole story. there should be no reason for us NOT to get it, and yet... here I am: miserable and hopeless. I want to be living in happy anticipation and hope and there's nothing.... like what's the matter with me? Why am I so easily swayed by life from the path where I should be walking?

think of me, as I try to muddle through this.
pray for me.
Ruth

Baby.... Baby,.... Lemon. *sigh*

So I got the test yesterday and I had such a good time with hubby and friends and I had my favorite food and we had "fun" yesterday night ;) then just before I went to bed last night, I saw some spotting. *sigh* I'm pretty sure I cried half the night. not It means not only am I late, but I'm not pregnant.

so I woke up and didn't see any blood which is a good thing I guess, I waited for a bit then I took the test as directed.

so as you can see, one great big minus. not pregnant. not to say the test couldn't be faulty, but I've had no morning sickness no anything besides a headache and drooling and being late, all of which can be attributed to stress.

I've been excited for 4 days. ever since I was late. and I have to stop getting my hopes up. I mean EVERYTIME I do, this is what happens! then I wind up depressed and crying. It's like post partum depression without the bundle of joy to balance it out. (I'm even crying now for pete's sake)

when does it get to be my turn?
keep me in your prayers
Ruth

in Limbo

okay, so Hubby and I have been trying for a year now, and I'm currently 2 days late which might not freak anyone else out, but the truth is, I feel like I'm different. Like my breasts feel bigger (which again, could mean menstruation) and I have a headache, a lot, (which could mean stress, lack of caffeine, low blood sugar, rain, etc.) but the one thing I can't understand is drooling.

I haven't drooled in my sleep in a long time. and I mean ages ago. but suddenly I'm waking up and my face and neck and pillow are all caked with drool! (sexy, I know) Is this natural? I mean I expected some changes, but really? drooling?

*shrugs*

I don't know. heck I don't even know if I AM pregnant. I could just be stressed after turning *cough* 29 *cough* and a major job change and my in-laws coming to visit etc. and my body could be holding back my period for that reason. but it seems unlikely.

we'll likely pick up a test this weekend.
Limbo is a terrible place to be...
keep praying please?
thanks
Ruth

maybe?

well, there is normally a lot more pain not to mention SOME bleeding by now, but nothing yet. again... I've been up to 11 days late, so I'm not holding my breath but I am a little hopeful... DH and I will have to go into the city early to pick up a test, as for right now, my hopes are high, but I'm still cautious.

keep praying for me?
Ruthi

21 days later

well, the thing is: I am 1 day away from when my period should start. but the truth is that I'm not feeling any of the normal symptoms that I normally feel around this time. again, I'm not about to rush out and buy the maternity gear and whatnot, but it does give me a smidgen of hope...

pray for me?
Ruth

Another month, another negative

so, a day late and a dollar short. no baby on the way again.

I'm trying to be patient, I really am, but right now so much of my life revolves around trying to get pregnant.

I'm trying to lose weight, so I can have a baby, I'm trying to eat healthy, exercise, take folic acid, can't drink, etc, talk to people, get councelling everything is associated with baby!

we have a girl who lives near us who was adopted out of a really bad situation, and Hubby looks at her and thinks, maybe there's someone who needs Ruth as much as she needed a new mom... which is a possiblility, but I can't help thinking He's just trying to limit me and the babies I have...

Keep praying for me please?
22 days until I'm doomed for another month...
Ruth